Ballistic (A Vigilantes Novel) Page 18

  “You’re not giving me much choice.” Everything inside of me begged me to stay away from the girl. That I’d be a rotten bastard for what I was about to do right then, but I was a man dominated by his vices, ruled by his demons. Maybe no different than the men I’d hunted and punished.

  Forehead set against her shoulder, I kissed her nape, trailing my lips over her flesh, as she reached behind to grab the back of my neck. The sweet scent of her skin hooked something dark and primitive inside me, stoking the hunger in my gut. Driving me wild.

  Wrapping my arms around her, I paused, squeezing my eyes to stamp out the bastardly thoughts racing through my head. Ones of me eating her out on that very countertop, and sucking her clit until the little bud turned blue. “I’m not doing this. I can’t.”

  She tilted her head back, and disappointment carried on her forced breath. “Damaged goods, right?” Lowering her arm, she nudged me with her ass, kicking me back a step. “Forget it.”

  I held her tighter, one arm crossed over her chest, the other across her belly, and damn near growled in her ear, “You’re not damaged. You’ve just been through some bad shit, and I don’t want to be the dirty prick that takes advantage of you.”

  She kicked her head to the side, turning her ear away from my lips. “I’ve been through enough bad shit to know what’s good. I’m not a child, Dax. And don’t make the mistake of comparing yourself to those bastards who rob young girls of their innocence. You’re not taking anything I’m not damn well old enough to give.”

  Like she can read my fucking mind, this girl.

  “But I don’t have a perfect body, like those strippers. I don’t know how to be sexy and desirable. My youth is all I’ve had going for me, the only thing the sick bastards in this world have swarmed over like locusts. So, if you don’t want me—”

  Slapping my hand over her mouth trapped whatever self-deprecating shit she planned to spew next. The girl was perfect. So fucking perfect, it hurt to look at her. I knew where her wounds came from, knew what she’d been through to get them, and they didn’t make me want her any less. They were a testament of her strength, marking her will to survive. At eighteen, she was well beyond her age, wiser to the ways of the world than any other woman I’d met before her.

  “Shut up, Nic. I’m not listening to that crap. You’re a fucking pearl in a sea of shit, but that doesn’t mean you should be plucked up by some asshole with a string of beads.” After all, I wasn’t known to be a very tender lover. Sex brought out the unbridled savage in me that craved sweat and fatigue. The kind of night that’d leave me a spaced-out zombie the next day, as if I’d run a marathon.

  “Do you want me? Because that’s all that matters to me.”

  Hell, yes, I wanted her. I wanted her more than I’d wanted any other thing in my life. Bastard, or not, bottom line was, the girl had me wound so fucking tight, I couldn’t deny her if I tried.

  With my palm over her mouth, I slid my hand down the front of her, watching our reflection, as I ran my fingers down her wet slit and drew back the plump outer lips to her hooded clit, tickling it with tiny flicks.

  Her moan bounced off my palm and she tipped her head back, surrendering to my ministrations.

  Dragging my hand from her mouth to her chin, I held her neck, tipping it just enough for me to devour her throat. Had to tell myself to slow down, because I didn’t want fast. I wanted to stretch it out for as long as I could, savor the taste of her flesh against my tongue. “You’re everything I want.” Face buried in the curve of her neck, I licked her hammering pulse. “This is going to hurt like hell when it’s over, Nic, but I’m too far gone to give a shit right now.”

  Awkwardly shoving my boxers to mid-thigh, I caught the tears in her eyes and the tremble of her body against mine. Her gaze fell from the mirror just enough to tell me she couldn’t bear to watch herself, and if I imagined the words filling her head, they’d only piss me off. Nothing but lies, telling her she was worthless, broken, unwanted.

  No. Not my Nicoleta.

  The embodiment of fortitude and resilience. A brand of beauty that couldn’t be replicated, because one would have to walk through absolute hell to acquire it. Something most of the women I knew weren’t willing to do.

  The woman standing before me was willing to take down one of the most dangerous criminals in the city, one not even the police were willing to touch, all in the name of someone she loved. That alone made her deserving of pleasure and admiration, to be worshipped for however long it took for those thoughts to bury themselves into obscurity.

  I gripped her chin, guiding her eyes back to the mirror, and against her opposition, held her there. “Watch us.” I skated my hand over her breast, and circled my thumb over her perfect pink nipple, studying the heavy blink of her eyes. The way her skin bloomed with goosebumps and she trembled harder than before—every stitch of her resistance coming apart at the seams. “Your body belongs to me now, not them. Look how it responds to me. Like a flower in the sun.”

  She tipped her head back, resting her crown against my shoulder, and closed her eyes.

  “Open your eyes. I want you to watch everything I do to you. And when you close them again, I want you to imagine my hands.” Palm gliding down her belly, I reached for her pussy and cupped it, letting my fingers toy at her entrance, wriggling them just enough to slicken it. “Mine. No one else’s.”

  Eyes on me, she kept her hands on the counter, gripping the porcelain, and I dipped into her satiny folds, taking in the soft flesh that closed in around my fingers, sucking them inside with slippery invitation. The wet sounds echoed in the bathroom as I withdrew and pushed, pumping in and out of her, sluicing my skin with her juices. Warm fluids dripped down my knuckles and my eager cock lurched in response. I released her neck to slide my palm along the back of her thigh, guiding her leg up onto the low-set counter, and nearly lost it when her beautiful pink shell opened up for me.

  “Jesus Christ, you’re perfect. Perfect fit for my fingers.” I licked the shell of her ear and lowered my voice to a whisper. “I can’t wait to have my dick inside you, little lynx.”

  Looking down her nose, she swallowed hard and closed her eyes.

  “Don’t close your eyes, baby. Watch what I do to you.”

  Her eyelids fluttered open again, and I took a moment to suck her juices from my fingers, letting her watch as I savored her sweetness.

  “You taste so fucking good.” I plunged my digits again, catching the spine-tingling view in the mirror’s reflection, as they disappeared, knuckle-deep, inside her pussy and shimmered on the withdrawal. The way her brows came together in a cross between agony and ecstasy, her body sagging against me, served as the reward that brought a smile to my face. “You’re ready for me, yeah?”

  “Yes,” she whispered, grinding her wet mound into my palm.

  “Good. ‘Cause I can’t wait any more.” I turned her around and, hands beneath her thighs, lifted her up onto the counter. With a sweep of my hand, I pushed the toothbrushes and soap dish out of the way, because somehow shit always ended up broken when I had sex.

  I slid her ass closer, leaned down to kiss the scar on her stomach, and her muscles flinched at my touch.

  “Please. No foreplay. Just fuck me.”

  Pressing my forehead to hers, I breathed hard in an effort to will away the urge to eat her out right there on the bathroom sink, my tongue twitching at the missed opportunity. I hooked finger beneath her chin to tip her head back, eyes set to a warning. “I’ll let you call the shots the first time, Nic, because this about you, not me. You want fast and hard? I’ll do whatever you want. But at some point tonight, I’m gonna take my time with you. I’m gonna taste every inch of your skin and kiss every one of your scars. Have my tongue buried so deep in that pussy you won’t know even remember your own name. After that, I’m going to fuck you slow, so goddamn slow you’ll be begging to come at the same time you’re telling me not to stop. And that’ll be for me. Not you.”

 
I didn’t even give that a moment to sink in, before I swiped up the condom beside us and slicked it down my painfully hard dick. Spreading her knees to the side, I positioned myself at her entrance, taking in the lust drunk expression plastered to her face. Cockhead eager and swollen, notched just inside her soft folds, I flexed my ass to keep from driving hard, and inched deeper. I wanted to rut the fuck out of her, like wild animals, but her eyes tempered my control. Warm whiskey set me straight, calming the urges inside me.

  If she thought one quick romp between her thighs was the height of pleasure, she was in for a surprise. I was known for two things when it came to sex—a curious tongue and a hungry dick—both of which had a tendency to consume a meal like the French.

  Licking her lips, she settled her attention on my cock and reached down to touch my apadravya piercing through the condom, rubbing her thumb over the silver pearls sticking out from either side of the head of it. Her delicate little caresses only heightened the merciless need pounding through me, aching for release only she could give me.

  I eased myself inside of her, catching the tip of her brows that told me it was too much at once.

  Her smooth wet walls clamped over my shaft, sucking me deeper into her warmth, and I tipped my head back, clenched my jaw to keep from slamming into her. Because she felt so fucking good, I could’ve drilled a hole right through her belly, as eager as I was to get balls deep in that heat. The slick sounds that chased my withdrawal only urged me to plunge forward again, and when I pumped in rhythm, with her juices coating my skin, those sounds skated down my spine in ripples of ecstasy. A symphony of my ruin.

  Soft moans filled the room, her sweet scent seasoning the air, stirring my instincts, and I stared down at her face, at the beautiful glow that flushed her skin. She arched into me, pressing her breasts into my chest and I dipped my head to clamp my lips across one of her nipples. Pouty bottom lip caught between her teeth, she braced her hand on the sink, and a soft, needy sound urged me along, as she squirmed against me.

  I upped the pace, until the glide inside of her was finally smooth enough to thrust to the hilt, and she arched higher, while I shook off the dizziness.

  My little lynx was tight, so goddamn tight, I needed to bite down on something to cast off the violence begging my muscles to take her hard, amid the sweet agony of holding back. Perhaps my favorite part of fucking.

  In the mirror’s reflection, I caught the dark expression on my face, standing over her as she tipped her head back like a sacrifice waiting to be consumed by pure evil.

  I drove again. Again.

  She wrapped her arms around me, as though holding on for dear life.

  Her nails scored my back, the faint sting marking their path up to my shoulder blades trampled by the rush of blood and excitement pulsing through my veins.

  In and out, I drove my cock deep inside of her, watching her eyes roll back, her mouth hanging slack. I’d been told the piercing added just enough pressure inside to feel incredible against the G-spot, but with Nicoleta, I wanted her comfortable. I didn’t want a second of it to be painful.

  “Does it hurt, baby?”

  Her head shook frantically, before her chest led a sharp arc of her body. Her mouth gaped, and the moan that escaped her came from deep in her belly, while she blindly grasped at the countertop, as if to steady herself. She looked possessed, lost in some unseen fantasy I’d have given anything to pry on.

  “Harder, Dax. I want it harder.”

  I pulled out of her and flipped her onto her stomach, yanking just enough on her short-cropped hair to kick her head back, to let her watch the two of us. With her ass high in the air, I entered her pussy again, biting my tongue to remind myself to go slow, and palmed one of her tits, kneading the plump flesh like a goddamn stress ball.

  “How’s that, Nic? This how you want to be fucked?” I whispered in her ear, hammering my hips into the back of her damp thighs.

  In the mirror’s reflection, she nodded, her tits bouncing in celebration with every slam of my dick. Digging my fingers into her ass, I spread her apart and stared down at the tiny, forbidden entrance I’d hoped to introduce to my dick at some point. Instead, I pressed my thumb against it, massaging her there, and she jerked forward.

  “Ah, Dax!”

  I pressed harder, wiggling my thumb across that sweet spot, and paused for two seconds to wet my fingers with my tongue, then circled again.

  She squirmed and jerked in my unyielding grasp, her little hole throbbing as I rubbed my saliva over it. “Please!”

  Once lubed enough, I pushed only the tip of my thumb past the tight ring of muscles, just enough to play with her, and kept driving my hips into her pussy.

  The view in the mirror only goaded me, as we watched ourselves like voyeurs, with the heady scent of sex flavoring the air, so thick I could damn near taste it.

  A hoarse, animalistic sound spilled from her lips, bouncing off the tiles, as I twisted my thumb in and out of her ass. Her body enlivened with tiny shivers and heat, and I swore I’d never seen anything so fucking beautiful in my life.

  What started as a spark ignited into flames, as we burned with more intensity than I’d ever felt before. I let it consume me, reveling in that unforgiving scorch, as I pistoned into her tight little body with reckless abandon.

  “Dax, I’m … oh … I’m gonna …”

  Beads of sweat collected in the small of her back, and at the mewling whines that escaped her, my balls tightened. Tighter. Tighter.

  Until at last, neither one of us could hold it any longer.

  She screamed, backing her ass into me, as I drilled into her like a fucking oil rig hoping to strike a blowout. Head tipped back, I clenched my teeth, as the first tingle shot up my spine, crashing into the back of my head. Hot jets exploded into her pussy, captured by the thin condom. I rolled my hips as I emptied every drop, and let out a curse as the orgasm shuddered through my muscles.

  She held still, like a stunned animal, allowing a cunning predator to pump its poison into her. Anesthetizing her into a state of unwitting bliss, confirmed by the licentious purr in her throat that cast a tremor down my spine.

  I pulled out and slid the sagging condom from my dick, and tossed it into the trash. Not sparing a second, I swiped her feet out from under her, lifting her into my arms, and carried her to the bed, where I set her down on the mattress.

  As Nicoleta slinked toward the other side of it, I yanked her back and crawled in beside her, holding her tight against me, wanting her to curl into me like a little kitten, just as she had earlier.

  “Dax, let me go. I don’t do the cuddling stuff.”

  “Too bad. I do.”

  She pushed at my arms, but I wrapped them tighter around her and trapped her between my legs, holding her against my ragged-out body. “I can’t do this! Please.”

  “Relax, Nicoleta. I’m not going to hurt you, or make you do some depraved bullshit. You’ve been programmed to guard yourself, but you don’t have to do that with me.”

  “I’m … I don’t … affection isn’t my thing.”

  “Not mine, either. But it’s different with you.”

  “Why?”

  “Just is.” Because she didn’t ask for it, and because of that, she probably needed it more than other women I’d been with.

  Something about her made me want to take care of her. Protect her. Yeah, she was strong and could do some damage with a blade, but she was fragile at the same time. A raging flame trapped inside a porcelain shell. One that could crack if pushed too far over the edge.

  I held her tighter and kissed her damp shoulder. “Get some rest. I’m not done with you yet, woman.”

  On a huff, she stilled against me and chuckled. “I opened the floodgates, didn’t I?”

  Maybe she had. Maybe all the crazy shit building inside of me was my body’s attempt to get it out of my system. To fuck her until I’d had my fill, until I was so glutton on her body that I couldn’t stand to take another piece of her.
I’d unwittingly done that a number of times, with a number of other women—allowing myself to tire of them by filling my cup over and over, until I could no longer stomach the taste.

  Perhaps that was the key to letting her go in the end. After all, I’d long planned to go after Tesarik, and if the rumors were true about his enemies, then I’d be looking at a one-way ticket. My penance, for all the times I’d screwed women over in my life, or just hadn’t been there for them, as was the case with my sister Lizzie, and my own mother.

  I knew better than that, though. I’d never get sick of Nicoleta, evident in the way my body had already begun to harden for her. I cared too much about her to take my fill and push her away. Felt too damn good having her in my arms, her small body curled into mine.

  “You did.” I smiled against her skin, inhaling her mouthwatering scent and closed my eyes, pretending she was mine and the whole rest of the fucking world didn’t exist.

  26

  Nicoleta

  An hour must’ve passed before my muscles unspooled, my chest loosened its crushing grip on my lungs, and my head was forced to relent the possibility that Dax had any intentions of letting me go. I blamed the incessant effects of my addiction, that voracious craving for touch, for trampling the natural instincts to protect my heart by pushing away. A maddening battle between body and mind.

  Perhaps the only way I could be persuaded to lie next to a man after sex.

  He was right: I had been programmed. Trained to keep the drugs pumping through me by ignoring my instincts. Those minutes that followed orgasm, particularly mine, had always been reserved for the punishing waves of guilt and remorse that’d always pummeled through me afterward. But the euphoria brought on by something so simple as touch had made it almost sickening. The times I’d climaxed while on Hedonic had always been the worst, because I’d been so willing, so eager, just to score my next pill. Like a dog primed to please its master.